10 Things That Carried Me Through My Infertility Journey

Ten things

By Danielle Davis

Danielle works in partnership with First Response to share her pregnancy stories. This story was originally featured on her blog, Today’s The Best Day

I have absolutely LOVED sharing my infertility journey with all of you! Did you know it is actually the REASON I started Today’s the Best Day three years ago?!

As I was going through treatments and trying to conceive to become a mom, I had a personal blog {remember those?!} where I found my love for writing!

Sharing my story, my thoughts, my inner most passionate feelings about my desire and hope to become a mom, quickly became an outlet for me to express myself - and I fell in LOVE with it.

After I FINALLY became a mom, I wanted to continue writing - and thus, the creation of this website and now tribe! We are the Best Day Moms or also known as “BESTIES” and are passionate about motherhood, as we strive to make EVERY day, the BEST day for ourselves, our marriages and our families.

As you probably know if you have been a part of our tribe for a while - I recently went through round 2 of fertility treatments as we decided to try for a second baby through InVitro. You can check out our journey by clicking here.

As I shared each photo and article during the process, I realized as I talked about the struggles and trials that come with infertility problems - that the community of those trying to become moms is HUGE! I am not alone! YOU are not alone!  

And as awful as the trial is - there are so many resources and wonderful ways to help carry us through this difficult time in life.

THAT is why I am super excited to share 10 helpful tips and tricks that carried me through my infertility journey - and I hope you find this list as a source and guide to help you through as well.

1. SEARCHING FOR GOOD:I like to start off with this as the number one tip - because although it is simple, it completely changed my life. As you know, when you are trying to get pregnant it easily takes over everything you do. And when it doesn’t happen over and over and over again each month, it can be heartbreaking. The challenge is to find one good thing every single day. It can be small or big. Sometimes you may have to search for it - and other days it will come super easily. But as you find that one good thing on the daily, your attitude will change. And rather than seeing your struggles - you will see so many things that make you happy!

2. THE #TTCCommunity ONLINE: If you are looking for a Support Group - I have them for you! I love meeting other women who are going through what we are going through. It feels so good to talk to those who truly understand! They get you - and you get them! You can ask questions and they have answers. You can talk about your feelings and they can validate them for you. A few of my favorite support groups are Resolve which is a great place to start, the #TTCCOMMUNITY on Instagram and the Infertility Support Group (please link) on Facebook!

3. Expert Q&A with Mary Jane Minkin M.D. - As you go through your infertility journey, so many questions will come up. I love that on the First Response website, there are tons of great resources available to answer questions! I referred to this amazing one on “How to Conceive and Popular Conception Questions” with Mary Jane Minkin M.D. over and over again!

4. FOCUS ON SERVICE: “As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness!” - Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I have always heard that when we think of others, we forget about ourselves - but didn’t truly understand that until a few years ago when I took it upon myself to really focus on serving. And the best part of service is that there is ALWAYS something to do or someone to help! To start, you can write out a list of people you want to serve this week - a list of people you want to serve this month - and a list of people you want to serve by the end of the year. It can be family members, friends, neighbors, children, spouses or even strangers.

5. KEEPING A GRATITUDE JAR OR JOURNAL: My husband and I started this when we had our first miscarriage and have tried to do it every night since. You can buy a little notebook or journal at the dollar store {or even make one if you would like} and every night before bed, write 3 things you are grateful for down. By the end of the year - you will have a list of 1,095 things you are grateful for! What a wonderful way to recognize our blessings!

6. TAKIN’ CARE OF YOUR MAN: Infertility is an interesting trial - because it is a team effort. Often times I found myself having a personal pity party for myself and completely forgot that my husband was going through it too! Our men like to be tough. Ya know - they like to be “MEN!” But it turns out - men have feelings too. Take the time to love your man! Surprise him with his favorite treats! Take him on fun dates! Bring him home his favorite dinner! Give him a back rub! Send him a random text and let him know you love him! Taking the time to take care of your man - will not only strengthen your marriage, but make the situation a little lighter.

7. Expert Q&A with Barb Collura - Dealing with Infertility: Diagnosis & Support: At this link on the First Response website, you will find some really popular questions about infertility, insurance, and support groups, all answered by Barb, the CEO of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. If you have any further questions, feel free to leave them in the comments and we will try to get them answered for you!

8. CELEBRATING ACHIEVEMENTS AND GOALS: All good things and milestones {big and small!} are TOTALLY worth celebrating! Set daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals as an individual or as a couple…work hard to achieve them… and when you do - do something FUN! Reward yourself for everything you have done and will continue to achieve!

9. TRUSTING IN A HIGHER POWER: And truly believe with all of your heart that everything happens for a reason! “It is a choice we make daily to choose faith over doubt!” So, no matter what happens. Whatever bad news comes your way. Or what your pregnancy test this month says. Remember to choose FAITH - and don’t ever doubt that everything is going to work out.

10. FOCUSING ON LOVE: Lastly, but probably the most important of all - is to LOVE. Love your spouse. Love your family. Love your friends. Love your co-workers. Love your job. Love what you are doing RIGHT NOW. And over everything: Love YOURSELF. Be kind to YOU. Trust in you. And know that you can do anything!

Special thanks to First Response for being a sponsor of Today’s The Best Day! Although we were compensated for this article, all opinions are my own.